Darla!

Category: Life

Back from Mudik, to the Ordinary Life

Hey, there. Did y’all miss me? Well I doubt that, but here I am! Back again to the blogging world!

So, this year’s mudik journey wasn’t as bad as the previous years’. We didn’t get stuck in traffic jam. It was very smooth & we got to Lampung in less than 12 hours (this time we traveled from Bogor, not Bandung). Eid wasn’t bad either. I got less question of “Have you got any child yet?” than last year hahah! It was a win because who doesn’t dread those kinds of question, am I right?

Now I’m back to the normal life: morning reading, afternoon & night tutoring, cuddling with the cats, and all the likes. Last week we went to see Homecoming & although it wasn’t The Amazing Spider-Man, it was an amazing Spider-Man movie (ha! :p) One review post coming up in a few days. Also, this month I won’t do a Recent Reads post because I only finished one book! I can’t say if it’s good or bad, but at least it proved that I’m still able to give myself a break from that madness of my reading craze haha. I’ll include that one book in next month’s Recent Reads, along with the books I finish this month.

Alright, guys. I guess I’ll see you around, then?

A post shared by Dara Oct (@darlaoct) on Jul 4, 2017 at 7:51pm PDT

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15 July 2017
Messy Home Tour

A home tour blog post is like one of the most popular posts that every single blogger from every single niche seems to do. Pinterest is most likely to be blamed. I mean, who doesn’t go swoooooonnnn whenever they browse Pinterest and seeing all the pretty home decors, am I right? So, writing a home tour post has always been in my mind since I started blogging in 2009. Eight years later, I still haven’t done it. My house has abundant natural light and it will certainly look good if only I have the creativity (and also the money and the patience) to decor it like those rooms on Pinterest. Also, my house never seems to be tidy enough to be photographed and shared to the whole blogoland. So, while I was trying (so hard!) to tidy up, I got this silly idea to just take pictures of these messy rooms and created this post!

Above are the pictures of my messy living room. Like its name, this is where the ‘living’ is mostly done. I have a fairly small TV (not pictured), a set of jati (teak) chairs and table, a small bookshelf, and two pillows in this room. The wall is empty. I’ve been meaning to get some of our pictures printed, but somehow I never do.

And this is my bedroom. This one is probably the tidiest part of my house because there are fewer things here than in any other rooms, so it’s easier to keep everything in its place.

I’m in the middle of tidying this room and sorting things, so it’s super messy in this picture. This one is supposed to be my home office, where I do my freelance work and also keep up with this blog, but it has become some sort of storage room and a sun room for my cats. The window in this room is very big and facing the east so it’s very warm and full of sunlight in the morning. The cats like to lie around with their bellies exposed to the sunlight in this room.

Bonus picture of my tidying up supervisor. Ungil was spayed ten days ago, so she still has that funny bald patch.

This is the kitchen. I haven’t done a lot of cooking since my husband moved out, so it’s been a little bit abandoned, except for all those dirty dishes that I used to eat instant food and takeouts. I’m doing them all in a minute, don’t worry ;p

These are the laundry spot and the bathroom. The laundry spot is messy because it’s actually being used right now. And my bathroom is seriously in need of a major makeover, don’t you think?

I guess that is all for right now. I’m going to do another home tour when the rooms are already pretty, LOL!

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3 May 2017
This isn’t me (or at least who I used to be)

I used to be full of fire—or anger, to put it better. People used to leave me alone because they were afraid of igniting me. And air used to be fuel; ignite me and I’d explode. I’d explode and leave a train of victims everywhere.

I used to be full of words—written, never spoken. I used to write long, rambling paragraphs about how I felt and what should have been done, et cetera, et cetera. I used to blame the whole world and love myself.

Now I feel like I’m floating on the ocean. Not stormy, but a calm one. The only storm is inside my head; with all the anger bottled up, the tears welled up, the worries shut up.

Ask me what is wrong and I’ll say I’m fine. Because I am. I don’t even know why. I can’t even explain.

I want to go out and have friends; I also want to stay home and not see anybody at all. I want to be social; I want to be left alone. I want to talk; I want to just shut up.

I want to be around people who care but don’t ask questions.

23 March 2017
This is what life looks/feels like lately

It’s been almost 2 months that Afief and I live separately. He landed a new job in Jakarta and had to move there immediately, while I still have to stay here in Bandung because I still need to teach my students at least until SBMPTN (uni entrance test, which is around May/June).

Everything happened so fast. Afief left his previous job on October and had been freelancing for a project with a community from Australia. All the while, he had been interviewed by this company several times since December. By the end of January, he had had about five interviews with them but still no news about whether he was going to be hired or not. And then, on Friday, 3 February, he got an email from them, saying that he was accepted and he would start on Monday, 6 February. So we went to Jakarta on Saturday to find him a place to stay and he moved there on Sunday. Just like that and I’ve lived alone since.

I must admit that I’ve always wanted to live alone since junior high. But since I went to a uni in town, I didn’t move out of my parents’ house. And then just a few months after graduation, I got married and moved in with Afief, so I had never really lived alone. I adjusted to this solo living quite well, though. But it gets lonely sometimes, especially when I come home late after night tutoring and there are just cats greeting me at the door. There are nights I want to cuddle, but there’s only Chop-Chop (the other two are not cuddlers) and then Ungil comes and bugs Chop-Chop to the point that he goes out of the house for the rest of the night 🙁

We visit each other every weekend. We take turns; last week was my turn to visit him in Jakarta, so this week is his turn to visit me here in Bandung. So, there have been a lot of solo train rides. Long distance relationship is expensive haha! But we will survive. It’s only temporary and I’m joining him in Jakarta later this year. We only need to figure things out about where we are going to live in, because surely we can’t live in a small room with three cats (I’m not going to give them up!) so we need to find a house. And finding a house in Jakarta won’t be easy. All fingers are crossed and all prayers are sent.

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20 March 2017
Cut it loose.

During the lowest part of my quarter-life crisis, around November 2016, I had an epiphany that I needed to start burning bridges. Which bridges? you might ask. Well, the bridges between me & several people.

2016 taught me that I’m responsible with my own happiness. Nobody else has the duty to make me happy; it’s only me. So I made a list of things that made me unhappy & surprisingly, certain names appeared on my list.

Then I realised that it was finally time to burn bridges. And I guess that’s perfectly okay. It’s okay to severe the tie with the people who no longer contribute to your growth. If those people can think that they’re allowed to bring you down, well you’re allowed to free yourself from them. It may not be easy, but it’s necessary.

2017 will be the year of meaningful & positive relationships.

1 January 2017