You might not know that sometimes I’m jealous with people who leave their family and hometown to study in a good university in a big city. I feel that leaving all the people you love and the comfort of your home to live in a strange place, surrounded by strangers, is a step toward maturity. I was born and has been living in a big city all my life. I don’t know how it feels to leave my family and my bed to live in another city semi-permanently. I feel that I miss one step toward maturity.
I fear that I have come to be spoiled by the comfort of big city. Everything I want is available here. I’m so used to living in an easy way that I fear I may not be able to survive if one day I have to leave it all.
I once had this resolution of going out of town all by myself before I turn 20; take train and go to Yogyakarta or somewhere farther. It’s so sad that I’m 20 now and I haven’t even gone to Cimahi alone. My biggest obstacle is, of course, my parents. They will not let me go without company.
Things may not change before I get married. My parents are the ones who are responsible for me until then. And after I get married, it will be my husband. My problem is if my husband doesn’t let me go, I can’t go. I will be forever inside the cage.
I want to know how it feels to live in another town all by myself. I want to have a small house with a big garden. I want to taste that kind of freedom. And by freedom, I don’t mean partying and drinking like crazy. Freedom for me is being alone, doing what I love. It’s a simple dream but it’s so hard to pursue.
Can I leave the cage?
Sincerely,
Putdar.