Category: Friendship

  • [THOUGHTS] The Kind of Friendship We All Need

    [THOUGHTS] The Kind of Friendship We All Need

    Friends | DarlaOct.com
    It seems like we have come to an agreement over the premise that as we grow old, we tend to have smaller group of friends. It’s true—well, at least for me. The difference between the friendship I had in high school and uni and the one I have right now is about 15:4. That is a huge difference.

    It’s inevitable, though. As a freelancer, I don’t have work friends. My neighbourhood only consists of two families (the rest of the houses on our block are vacant): one family is a mother with a second grader daughter and the other one is rarely home. I have small exchanges with them quite often, but that is it. Just small talks for hospitality. I used to have quite a big girl gang in high school, but we only talk irregularly in a group chat nowadays. And then I’ve found out that we’ve grown to become people with different views and interests. I’m no longer comfortable around them. My uni friends are all busy: one is a working mother, one is teaching in another city, and one is working remotely for an overseas company.

    And me? I’m huge and clumsy due to my pregnancy.

    And friendship should be maintained. Like any other kind of relationships, friendship needs efforts from all parties involved.

    Therefore, whenever I have a chance to see them, I’ll go. Even if it’s only for a sushi dinner, or a movie, or just a quick visit to see their cats.

    I’m lucky to still have friends who can be seen in an instant. Just a text “Infinity War this Wednesday?” and “Let’s go!” and then off we go.

    I believe that’s the kind of friendship we all need.

    Dara | Bloglovin’ | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook

  • Forgiveness

    Line Chat | Hola Darla
    Six years ago, I got into a huge fight with a girl on Facebook. I called her “slut”. She was an ex of my (then) boyfriend who wouldn’t stop texting him. I was so annoyed by her presence and I got super mad. After several weeks, we started insulting each other on Facebook. When I finally had had enough, I posted that stupid status calling her that horrible, horrible thing. I was 18 back then, on my first semester of uni. I was a stupid teenager and didn’t think forward. I regretted it in an instant, but the damage was already done.

    Two years later, I tried to apologise to her. I felt I had grown more mature and after carrying the burden of regret for two years, I finally had the courage to apologise. She responded in a cold manner. She said she accepted my apology but I knew for sure I had hurt her too deep. We didn’t keep in touch after that.

    Until a few days ago, on 18 September (always a surprising day), she added me on LINE. We finally talked after four years. I was surprised yet very happy. The burden of regret was lifted and I can walk a little lighter today. I’m so thankful for her forgiveness and if she were here, I would hug her tightly.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you.

    “A thousand friends are too few; one enemy is too many.”
    – Turkish proverb

    Dara | Bloglovin’ | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook

  • Being the First to Get Married among Your BFFs

    Being the First to Get Married among Your BFFs | Hola Darla
    I used to have this strong belief: “Getting married won’t change a thing; having kids will.” As long as there were still the two of us (well, three if you count Jess), we would be able to live our lives just like we had done before getting married. The only change is that we live together now.

    Alas, that is not always the case. As much as I want to be the same person I was before my wedding day, I’ve changed. I’ve changed in more ways than I know.
    Being the First to Get Married among Your BFFs | Hola Darla
    Being in a group chat with my girls is no longer the same. We used to talk a lot about heartbreaks. We were a bunch of single, independent ladies who had been BFFs since high school. We had shared a lot of relationship’s ups and downs. Now that I’m married, I feel like an outsider whenever they talk about heartbreaks. I occasionally have my share of heartbreaks too, but not the same kind as their heartbreaks. I feel odd being the only married person among single ladies.
    Being the First to Get Married among Your BFFs | Hola Darla
    Friendship feels strange nowadays. I know that friends drift away and it’s inevitable, but I never thought that it would happen so clearly before my eyes. Thankfully my husband and I share some friends, so we still get to hang out with them every now and then.

    Don’t get me wrong. Married life is so, so fun! But it also comes with a price. It’s been almost nine months, but there are still a lot to figure out. It’s an adventure I won’t trade for any other thing 🙂

    Dara | Bloglovin’ | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook