“once you kill a cow, you gotta make burger.”

Have you ever felt that kind of feeling where everything seems going in the wrong directions? You know when you’ve already said yes and decided to take the responsibility of something, then you should finish it. You should stick to your decision. There’s no way out. There’s no way back. No matter what happens to you, your brain, or even your life, it’s still going to be your responsibility.

I don’t want to say that I have taken wrong decisions. If right now my life is such a mess, with unfinished college assignments, upcoming AECS, and unclarity of my job, I should’ve known that someday these things are gonna happen and thus I should have prepared and not get surprised. But I am surprised. I am stressed. The only thing I never thought of is that those three important things would climax in the same time, at this very moment.

It’s the risk of being me. I know. But if you only knew that being me is very hard, and I’m still learning how to be me. I really need a hug/tap on the shoulder, a nice “You’re doing good. I’m proud of you.”, or at least “Semangat ya?”

But, no. Nobody did/does that to me.

Mr Boyfriend is a commitee, too, so he’s as busy as I am. That’s why I don’t want to give him so much pressure by complaining to him. He himself already has tons of problem, I don’t want to add more burden. But I seriously need words of encouragement.

I’m so sorry. I never intended to be such a negative blogger (I’ve been complaining a lot lately), no matter how negative I really am in person. I really hope this one’s the last one (at least for these weeks). I really hope everything goes well until the end. Please pray for me, people. Perhaps some of you out there do care about me. I’ll be very thankful about that.

Okay. I need to tell myself to:
Just. Breathe.
*sigh*

Sincerely,
Putdar.

*update*
Right after I published this post, Mijra sent me this text:
“Oo.senyum dan semangat 8D”
I love her :’)