The first time we talked about getting married was one year ago. It was in the evening, in the middle of the road in Kopo. We were heading home from a friend’s house. I don’t remember what we were talking about before that topic came up. He told me he wanted to marry me in 2014. I told my mum what he told me, much to her surprise. She said that we were too young. I didn’t talk about that topic again.
Fast forward. It was July 2014. We were both in Lampung, just in different cities. We were texting and I jokingly asked “So, when are you going to propose?” I wasn’t expecting a direct answer, but he replied with “After Eid.” He then told me that he was going to propose in late August. I didn’t have the guts to tell my parents. I forced myself to tell my mum, in hopes that she would tell my dad. Well, she didn’t. In our culture, when a man wants to marry a woman, he has to ask her father’s approval. I told A that I was too scared to tell my dad. A decided to tell him himself. So that was exactly what A did.
He came to my house right after he arrived in Bandung after the Eid. He told my parents that he was going to bring his parents to my house to propose to me. My dad, being the kindest man that he is, gave us his blessings and gladly invited A’s family to come. Three weeks later, A came to my house again. This time, he brought along his father and uncle.
It was not a big ceremony. There was just a talk between the two families, and then he asked me the big question. I said yes. He put the ring on my finger. After that, we were given a lot of advices about married life and marriage in general. Then we have lunch together and it’s a wrap.
There wasn’t any surprises. No fancy restaurant. No maracas band hiding in the bush. No lake picnic. Not even getting on one knee and holding out the ring while asking “Would you marry me?”. No such things. It was just a simple, traditional engagement party (can we call it a “party”? Technically?) but the whole thing was so precious. I still remember the anxiety, the excitement when I was waiting for A and his family to arrive. I can’t believe that it happened more than 3 weeks ago because I still remember it like it was just yesterday!
