Darla!

Category: work

  • Saying Good Bye


    Changes are inevitable. People come and go. That’s how life goes, right?

    Last week of November was also my last week teaching in this high school. With the wedding on the way (it is this month, OMG!) and the semester coming to an end, the time for me to leave is also getting closer. This week is finals week. I still have to go to school to write students’ reports and do other stuffs. I will leave permanently next week.

    It’s not easy to leave the students I’ve only been teaching for less than five months. I’ve grown close to most of them. They are very nice. Sure, there are several students with extraordinary behaviour, but deep inside my heart, I love each and all of them. They are funny; some are also silly, asking questions like “Ma’am, what is ‘sunset’ in English?” I tried to look tough as if leaving them wouldn’t make me sad, but to think that I’ll never get to stand in front of them and make them confused with all those grammar rules breaks my heart a little.

    But as much as I want to stay and keep being their teacher, I really have to go. I’m going to move one and a half hour away and I won’t survive the everyday commute if I teach there. I hope my decision to resign is the best way.

    So as for now, we have to bid each other good bye.

  • On Teaching and Being a Teacher


    I have mixed feelings about teaching. Since I was a kid, I had always wanted to be a teacher. I often played school with my friends, with me being the teacher and my friends as the students. My mum taught me basic math since I was 3, so when I turned 7 I was already better at math than my friends; so naturally, I taught them math in our “class”. I really enjoyed playing teacher. Whenever grown ups asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said “A teacher!” with confidence.

    After graduating from English education programme and getting my degree in teaching, I still had mixed feelings about whether I wanted to be a teacher or not. Turned out, I no longer enjoyed teaching as much as I did back when I was 7. College has taught me that being a teacher is not a simple task. Teaching deals with social interactions (e.g. teaching in front of the class, communicating personally with the students, facing the parents, etc.) and paperworks (e.g. lesson planning, grading students’ works, creating and grading tests, writing reports, etc.), both at which I am not good at all. If you really know me, you know that I am socially awkward and a bad procrastinator. I’m not a suitable person to be a teacher.

    And it was clearly shown! I resigned from a teaching job after just two months of employment. Then I got another teaching job at a high school and then I yet again felt frustated. I complained a lot. I took even the smallest things as signs that I had to resign and got another job somewhere else. I saw it like the whole sky was covered with dark clouds and I couldn’t see the silver linings.

    Since I’ve just started on August and I felt like it was wrong if I resigned in the middle of the semester, I decided to stay. At least just for this semester. I thought I’d resign at the end of the semester. I felt that the momentum would be right because at the same time, I’m getting married.

    Perhaps that decision was the best I’ve ever taken, because as the days go by, I started to enjoy being a teacher at this school. I love the students. I love being the authority figure during the teaching activity. I enjoy grading their tests (I procrastinate every now and then, but when I am grading them, I really enjoy it). I’ve grown to be used to my schedule. And while I still need to work on my social skill when it comes to interacting with (older) fellow teachers, I’ve managed to reduce my anxiety and started talking to several teachers. I still keep my mouth shut most of the time, but I am not as awkward as I used to be and I’ve grown to care less about what others might think about me as long as I’m not bugging them profesionally. I’ve grown up a lot since the first time I stepped in to that teachers’ room. It’s not too much if I say that I’m proud of myself, isn’t it?

    I still don’t know if I will resign at the end of the semester or not. I’m going to move out of my parents’ house anyway, so I may live far from the school. It hasn’t been settled yet, so I’m still open for other options. But as for now, I think I’m going to survive.

  • Oh, August.




    What a month, August! I started working as a real teacher, graduated from uni, and got engaged; all in the span of one month. It was an August to remember. The August where I officially became a grown up woman. Thanks, August. I love you. See you next year 😉

    Trivia: Yes. I typed ‘August’ six times in this post.

  • A New Teacher




    Yesterday was my first day as a high school teacher. I had come to the school on Saturday to clean up my desk, which was still cluttered by the previous teacher’s stuffs like old worksheets, books, CDs, test booklets, etc. My teaching schedule is still a mess, too, so I only get to teach five classes in two days, Monday and Tuesday, and for the rest of the week I’m off again.

    The last time I taught a class of high schoolers was one year ago, yet somehow I found myself already feeling comfortable talking in front of the class yesterday. I hope it is a sign that the rest of the semester won’t be as hard as I thought it would be. There are still more things I need to learn, though. I’m still confused about the new curriculum and I still need to get to know everybody at school. Also, my desk is still a mess and I need to dump three boxes of the previous teacher’s file. Now if only I could find an easy way to take all three boxes without asking for help from anybody (I haven’t known anyone!).

    But I found a meme in the textbook for eleventh graders! So all in all, it’s pretty good so far 🙂

  • Month One of Unemployment


    These past two weeks have been quite stressful for me. Staying at home all weekend may sound so exciting, but that’s it: one weekend. Staying at home for days isn’t as appealing at all. Sure, binge watching Orange Is The New Black is fun, but after just six episodes done in one day, my butt couldn’t take any more sitting. Unemployment sucks, yo.

    However, starting a new job also sucks. I’m kinda having a love-hate relationship with my couch now; like, I don’t wanna stay at home all day and yet I know I’m gonna miss it very much after I start working (which is this coming Monday, by the way). I know I shouldn’t be complaining. I should be happy that I have a job. There are thousands of people out there who can’t find even a minimum wage job. Oh Lord, I’m so ungrateful.