… was the day I wrote this:
It was the day of the phone call.
It was the day I stopped believing.
It was the day I died.
It was the lowest point in my life.
It was the day.
It would always be the day.
Category: memories
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18 September 2012
… was the day I managed to suck this straw and finished my drink in one breath.
It was the day you told me you had to go.
It was the day I told you you didn’t actually have to go.
It was the day you went anyway, leaving me alone at the parking lot to finally gain the strength to carry on.
It was the day I told myself to think that everything would be alright.
It was the day I believed that “Tomorrow will be better.”
It was the day before the day I died.
It was the day the 2012 apocalypse started (silly Mayans had no clue at all!)
It was the day.
It would always be the day.
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If I Knew Then
I was still 19 and you were 21. Funny how at first I couldn’t even remember your name. I just remembered you as ‘that guy who also comes from Lampung’. But I’m glad that we had some pictures taken on the first day that we met. Now I’m 21 and you’re almost 23 (next month!). It gets even funnier, now that your name is the first thing that comes to my mind when I wake up in the morning. I can’t technically say that I come from Lampung, but who knows that Lampung may be the same place we’ll call home.I love you, A. I wonder if we had really met when we were in junior high, would we be together like we are right now?
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Setahun Kemarin
(Sila dengarkan sambil baca biar lebih dapet feel-nya.)Kadang lucu ya? Kita suka pengen bilang “Bray… Udah setahun lho, bray? Gak kerasa, gilaaakk!!” tapi gak bisa gitu juga. Soalnya setahun itu waktu yang gak sebentar, tapi gak bisa disebut lama juga. Gak kerasa, tapi yaaa kerasa juga. Tergantung apa aja yang kamu alami selama setahun itu.
Ah, tapi ‘detik’, ‘menit’, ‘jam’, ‘hari’, ‘minggu’, ‘bulan’, dan ‘tahun’ itu kan cuma konsep buatan manusia; hasil kesepakatan entah siapa.
Dalam keadaan normal, aku adalah salah seorang yang menganggap kalo setahun itu cuma sebentar. Aku masih inget jaman aku galau gara-gara pacar keduaku pas SMP (yaaa walopun dulu istilah ‘galau’ itu sendiri belum sepopuler sekarang), dan voila! Tiba-tiba aja aku udah jadi mahasiswa. Enam tahun yang super singkat.
Dan setahun yang lalu (persisnya setahun dua hari) adalah satu dari empat tanggal di tahun 2012 yang bakal selalu nempel di otakku. (Jangan tanya yang tiga lagi tanggal berapa, soalnya aku gak mau cerita. At least not today.)
Simpelnya sih begini:
Cinta gak akan hilang cuma gara-gara kamu gak mengakuinya. Cinta bakal tetep ada di situ, nunggu dengan sabar, sampe akhirnya kamu mau mengakui: “Ya. Aku jatuh cinta.”Setahun dua hari yang lalu, ketika langit ragu-ragu antara menurunkan hujan atau membiarkan matahari menyelesaikan tugasnya, aku memarkir motor di teras rumah. Aku buka pintu ruang tamu dan langsung masuk kamar, tanpa setor muka dulu sama Ibu. Aku memandangi langit utara dari jendela kamar. Ada seseorang di sana, 20 kilometer di utara, yang baru aja aku kirimin sms:
“Padahal gak ujan lho. Ah coba tadi jadi aja nontonnya.”Gak lama berselang, dia bales:
“Iya. Ah sayang banget…”Sms singkat itu bikin air mata yang sejak siang udah aku tahan langsung ngalir gitu aja.
Ya. Aku jatuh cinta.
Si Gadis “Kalem” (photo by Ririz) -
Graduation Day
Me at my graduation day in junior high This morning, I decided to, among other things, stalk this one particular girl’s photo albums on Facebook. I came across one picture in which she was wearing kebaya. I browsed through the whole album and saw a bunch of pictures of her and her friends in their graduation day. All the girls were beautiful in their kebayas and all the guys were handsome in their suits.
And then I fell into nostalgia. I recalled my senior year in high school and I remembered my own graduation day, which was nonexistent. That year, our school didn’t hold graduation ceremony. There was one in the previous year. There was also one in the next year. And none for Gretchen Weiners!
Poor me and the whole class of 2009 didn’t have pictures like those of the girl I stalked. There was prom, though. But I didn’t attend it because I wasn’t a member of the cool kids, and of course nobody asked me to be their prom date.
Oh well, I’m whining again.