Darla!

Category: life as i know it

  • Life (and the Other Blog) Update

    Life has been intensifying for these past weeks. When I had my final paper oral presentation last month, I knew that I would need to find a job right away. I didn’t know that just in a span of one month, I’d be this busy working from 10 to 6 for two jobs from Monday to Saturday. And instead of being happy whenever Sunday comes, I feel stressed that I only get one day off every week. Just two weeks after accepted the job offer to teach English to kids, I already told myself “This isn’t what you want. Your heart doesn’t want this.” Funny how since my second year in college I had always thought that I didn’t want to be a school teacher and yet all I want now is to teach in high school. I guess that’s why you need to experience things: so that you can know what your heart truly desires. I may have found what my ‘dream job’ is. Don’t get me wrong. I love teaching kids, and so far, I love my little students with each of their characteristics, but I know that I was meant for some other thing. Perhaps I should need to figure more things out. Like I’ve mentioned before, I’m really bad at this growing up thing.

    ***


    On another note… Have I told you that my boyfriend and I have a blog that we maintain together? We’ve had it for almost one year and yet there are only three posts. He recently decided to move it to WordPress and tweaked completely changed the theme. It’s beautiful, isn’t it? I love my code-genius boyfriend.

  • On Longing to be Anywhere but Here


    Have you ever wondered how your life would be if you had taken another path? I’ve been wondering where I would be and what I’d be doing if I had chosen to go to another university in another city rather than going to the one in this city and living with my parents. I’ve always been so jealous of those kids who get to move out of their parents’ house just as soon as they graduate high school and get into college. Even though still living with your parents after graduating high school is socially acceptable here in my country, I still feel like I’ve skipped one step in the whole growing up process. For more than 22 years, I’ve been living with the security of being protected by my parents: living in their house, eating their food, spending their money, etc. I have absolutely no idea how to manage my spendings because everytime I run out of money, I can just run to my mum or my dad and they will give me extra cash. That’s how it rolls ’round here.

    And that’s not healthy at all.

    Lately I’ve been thinking about moving out and start my own life independently. With the university life almost over (I will present my final paper later this month!) and graduation day just a few months away, I will have to start looking for a job soon. The only way I can move out is if I get a job in another city, because there is no way my parents are letting me live on my own if it is still in Bandung (the living cost will be much cheaper if I stay, of course). I’ve been perusing the job openings in some websites but nothing seems to match my qualifications. I never thought that it would be hard to find a job as an English teacher, but apparently teaching is mostly the kind of job you are offered with, not the one that you are applying for.

    I’m also looking for some alternatives, though. Using my skills in written and spoken English, I may apply for a job in journalism or publishing. I regret not having other experiences besides teaching. I should’ve had a back up plan. Now it may be too late for me to apply for internships, no?

    God, why am I so bad at this whole growing up thing…

  • If You Can’t Hold On

    Right now I think there’s nothing more hurtful than seeing your best friends all graduating college and leaving you alone to start their journey on the real life (or career path that is), while you’re here being busy and such with the part time jobs you think you need just because you want to have a CV full of work experiences. What am I doing with my life? What am I pursuing, really? I feel like an infant who is already running a marathon while I actually still need to learn how to walk. I have to finish my final paper and graduate college before having multiple jobs, don’t I?

    This is it. This is the point where I need to take a big break and re-evaluate my whole life. Bear with me, my friends. Bear with me and be there in the morning to pull me through.
    Cause I think I can’t hold on any longer.

  • A Life Update

    Having three part-time jobs while working on skripsi turns out to be one hell of an overwhelming experience. But how ever overwhelming they are, I’m quite surprised at myself because I really enjoy it. I like being busy and having to jump from one place to another. While I still need to improve my social skills, I don’t mind receiving phone calls and visiting clients’ house (though I still hate making phone calls). The only thing that make me feel a little bit down lately is that Luna is sick. She has diarrhea and becomes very thin. I took her to the vet on Tuesday but she’s not getting any better. Please pray for her.

  • “The past does not equal the future.”

    October 2012
    “If you want to succeed in your life, remember this phrase. The past does not equal the future. Because you failed yesterday; or all day today, or a moment ago, or for the last six months; the last 16 years, or the last fifty years of life doesn’t mean anything…all that matters is what are you going to do, right now.” – Anthony Robbins (via)